Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Back to Black

Yesterday I had an old friend randomly text me this article.    At that moment, I needed to read it too.  Isn't it funny how some people, your true friends-the one's you have an undeniable connection with- always seem to know when you need them? I am lucky to have a few soul sisters in this life.

Truth is, I've been struggling lately.  I know that I have absolutely no reason to feel the way I do.  I have a husband who is way to good for me, that I really don't deserve, who gives me anything I could ever want, we have a comfortable home and I have two healthy kids.  On top of that I'm allowed to stay at home with my kids.  I get to be with them and mold them into the people they will become, all by myself.  I think that's important, too.  I don't want to send them to daycare or have a nanny come and do my job for me.

However, everyday I feel like I am losing more and more of myself.  I feel like I am getting lost in the mundane, that I am wasting my life, my chances of being someone, anyone, by way of laundry and suppers and carpooling and cleaning and etc etc, when in reality I don't think I have ever known who exactly I am supposed to be.  Everyone I know is now excelling in their careers and chosen life paths and I feel like I am doing the same thing, walking down the same  old dusty path, playing wife and mom.

It's true that change is essential for your mental health.  
So why is it so hard to change your path sometimes?

TGI Humpday!


  1. I know this feeling and can relate! There is no better job than the one I have currently - I love being a stay at home mom, but it can be isolating at times. I saw the article you mentioned and sent it some pretty good mamas that I know yesterday. I always read your blog and think about how many cool things you are doing with your girls and all the good homemade food you make. You are inspiring to me and make me want to be more creative and take time to cook for my family. Just thought you needed to hear that! :)

    1. It can be SO isolating! I think being so far away from all of my family and friends only intensifies that feeling. Thank you for your kind words!