Stolen

I usually try and keep this blog as family friendly as possible. So if certain language offends you just stop reading now.

We live in the "safest" neighborhood in Chicago, so why is it we were robbed for the third time in 5 months last night?


To the person who stole my Misters bike a back in April. You robbed us of one of our favorite pastimes and many nights trekking around the city together. However, it was our fault for not knowing where the lock was and chancing it for one night.

To the person who stole my awesome ashtray. I understand. It was really fucking awesome and perhaps you couldn't help yourself. I bet if you stayed the fuck off my deck it would help with your little kleptomania problem.

To the piece of shit asshole who came into my home last night while my family was sleeping.  FUCK YOU.   What the FUCK are you going to do with a CHILDS electric guitar?  Are you going to feel manly and cool and brag about it to your stupid piece of shit friends while you sit and play a CHILDS GUITAR???????

I would also like to thank you for stealing BOTH of my ipods.  Really, I obviously hate listening to music so taking them out of my life is really going to make my days go by so much quicker/better. 

Finally, thank you also for stealing my cheap laptop.  YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.  It holds no value except for the years worth of family photos on it that mean nothing to you, I'm sure they are already erased and forever gone.  I hope you go straight to fucking hell.  But while I still have to coexist with you in this life do me a favor and  STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HOUSE.