Rate Your Landlord

I Have Learned Some Interesting Things As Of Late

1. Stabbing yourself with wood carving tools makes you look like a cutter.
2. I can never ever ever become a truck driver.  (Driving for long distances makes me see RED.  I've driven over 24 hours in the past week.  It blows.)
3. Rats can burrow through the foundation of your house and live in your home.
4. My dog is terrified of city buses and.......ducks.  

I get the bus.  Its big and hisses and beeps and if I were Buehrle I would probably yelp and hide behind my master if I saw one too.

But ducks?  Seriously?  And its not like they were crazy angry geese chasing after him.  They were just swimming in the pond.  We were on our morning run when I figured out these fears of his.  He ran to the other side of me so quickly it was like someone lassoing my legs.  Luckily I have *amazing balance and did not fall on my face.

*this may or may not be true.

One more thing I've been thinking about strongly lately?  

As a woman who has been a renter for the last twelve years I have been in some crazy situations.  I have lived in some very odd housing.  I have had some really great landlords.  I have had some really crazy landlords.  But I have also had some really shitty slumdog landlords.

So the other day the Mister and I were talking.  There are all these different websites where you can "rate" things.  Why isn't there a "rate your landlord" website?

First and foremost, there is Yelp, where you can rate damn near anything in the world (and whose ratings I strongly rely on for my everyday adventures in consumerism.)  There is great schools for when you start looking into your schooling options (and you should start early, folks.)  They even have sites for rating your college professor.

So why, I ask you, is there not any kind of *Rate Your Landlord* website?  You willingly hand over your entire life story to this complete stranger in exchange for a measly 12 months of your life.  And for what?  It is always a huge gamble!  The Mister told me it is a lawsuit issue and it could make it easier for people to get sued for slander, but its not slander if its true!

I know I would have missed out on a lot of headaches if this type of service existed.

What is your *favorite landlord horror story?

Long lists and Huge Projects

I've been so busy lately and I'm afraid it is only going to get busier.  Here is a list of things I have to do within two weeks.

1. Jay Cutler Trophy
2. Bears face wood cut out
3. Sew 5 christmas blankets (That are needed before next weekend)
4. Plan Friends thanksgiving and all that is involved with that
5. Figure out how to retrain my once angelic dog.
6. Laundry.  Lots and lots of freaking laundry.
7. About five hundred million more things for wedding planning. 

I think I can..I think I can...I think I can...I think I can.................

Crunchy leaves make for a happy baby!

Whomping Willow

Do you remember the magical tree that is planted on Hogwarts grounds?  

The one that was placed there to hide the secret passageway from Hogwarts that leads to the Shrieking Shack in nearby Hogmeade so Lupin could change into a werewolf in secret?

No?  Well I'll tell you.  That magical tree is called a Whomping Willow.  It is a very violent tree that will attack anything or anyone who comes near it's branches.  The branches of this tree function just like arms.

I believe overnight the tree outside my house has transformed into a Whomping Willow.  

View from my window*

*This may or may not be my actual window.

Or maybe it is just fall.  Yesterday was a beautiful day.  The baby and I spent it travelling.  I learned that the lace I like costs $213.00 a yard (Ouch!) and that felt blankets are easy to make.  So I bought WAY to much felt and plan on sewing everyone in my family a blanket for christmas.  

(The family that I live with, not all of you.  Sorry guys!  That would put me in the poorhouse for sure!)

My mama and my little sisters are coming to visit me this weekend.  They are also going to look at some colleges in the area.  Seeing I did not attend college the "proper" way I will not be much help outside of showing them how to get to and from.  I need to ask a bit of help from you all.

My question for you:  What are things to look for as well as good questions to ask when visiting potential colleges?

Out-Halloweening Your Neighbor

While walking around the neighborhood this October I could tell that something BIG was in our future.  One by one each house started putting up bigger and better decorations then the last.  If their neighbor put up more fake spiderwebbing then the other they would go buy 15 more rolls.  The final product was more extravagant then I could ever imagine.  Here are a few examples of what I mean.......

Years and years ago I bought the most beautiful black and red cloak.  It wasn't the smartest purchase at the time since it really isn't socially acceptable to walk around in cloaks in this day in age.  So every year I find different ways to use it for my Halloween costume!  So far it has been used for a goat, vampire, devil and now.....Medusa.  (bwa ha ha)

I first got the idea of becoming Medusa a few months back when I ran into this awesomeness.  This is how the the transformation went.

First, put your hair into different sections.  Put pipe cleaners in each section.  

(Don't put to much hair in each section unless you double up on the pipe cleaner.) 

After you put the pipe cleaners in, braid it with your hair.

(Totally look like coolio here.)

Since I put to much hair in some sections and my "snakes" were a bit saggy I put a thick head wrap around my head to give them more support.

(At this point the Mister still said I looked like Coolio.)

BUT, add some GREEN hair spray, GREEN eyeshadow and RED lipstick....

And then you have yourself Medusa!!!!!

Clara was Minnie Mouse.  She really liked her "makeup"

Rhiannon went as an 80's nerd, although I think she looked more like a plain old hipster.  

 

After we got home we played in the yard and passed out candy to all the other trick or treaters.  There were about 510.465,243,857 children who came to our house.  There were so many kids we ran out of candy and Rhiannon gave away all the candy she had got from trick or treating that night.

I believe Halloween this year was quite the success!  

Who's That?

Real Conversation from this Weekend

Rhiannon was flipping through the radio stations while we were on our way to grandmas house this weekend.  She stopped and started singing to Cindi Lauper's girls just wanna have fun.  I looked over at her and gave a little half raised eyebrow/smirk.  The conversation then goes like this...

R:  What?  It's the Goonies!

Me:  This is NOT the Goonies.  It's on the movie.  

R:  Well, same thing Mom.  What, do you not like this song?

Me:  No I like it just fine.  I've just heard it about 5 million times that all.

I then tell her the story of how I sang this song with a few of my friends when I was in high school.  We had kareoke day and me and three other girls dressed up like the spice girls.  However the DJ didn't have spice girls so we instead chose this song and sang it in front of the entire school.  

R:  Who's the Spice Girls?

(sigh)

Then about fifteen minutes later we were listening to Justin Bieber.  (You know you are jealous of this car ride we had.)  About three songs into his album she got really quiet.  I asked her why and got this...

R:  You know mom, I bet someday Justin Bieber is going to grow up and get a deep voice and facial hair. Then nobody's going to care about him anymore.  Then I bet he gets a wife and that nobody likes her either.

You know what kid, I bet you are 100% correct.

Happy Halloween to you all!  Tonight I am going to use the same cloak I do every year and make yet another successful costume out of it!  I will show you it tomorrow.....Until then I hope you have a great day!

(Clara and her very first leaf pile fun!)

What NOT To Do When You See a Puppy

Being so close to the lake, hospitals and colleges our street is fairly busy and has heavy foot traffic.  All kinds of folks walk by our front yard.  Old, young, big, little, rich and poor, yuppie, hipster, all the different kinds that this city is made up of.

I have noticed that it doesn't matter which of these categories these people fall in, at least every third person who walks by my yard stops, leans OVER my fence, pets my puppy and asks all sorts of questions.

PEOPLE!  I understand the pup is adorable!  That is why I got him!!!!!  But let me make one thing perfectly clear.

IT IS NEVER OKAY TO LEAN OVER A STRANGERS FENCE AND MANHANDLE THEIR PUPPY

NEVER.

EVER.

EVER.

And, just so you know, these excuses do not make it okay either.

"Oh, its okay.  I'm a dog lover!" 

"We used to raise dogs."

"I had Airedales growing up!"

"It's okay, I don't mind if he nibbles on my hand a little."

Well guess what Creep, I DO!  The final straw came when my oldest took Buehrle out to play.  I looked outside to check on them after a few minutes.

I saw the CREEPIEST MAN EVER bent completely over the fence and was practically picking the dog up.

When I ran outside (like a bat out of hell) to tell the man to stop I found him trying to ask Rhiannon personal questions.

(Luckily my daughter was smart and just stood there silent.  I taught her "stranger danger" quite well.)

Since I can't install a taller fence (which is 100% needed) I instead went on a hunt for some type of tree or hedge to plant next to the fence to keep people from coming into our personal space.

SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE!  WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS?  

These were on sale at hd when I went to buy the mums and they would have been perfect!

However, when I went back two days later they were gone.  So I went to this nursery called The Fertile Garden.  I learned two new things.

1.   If you are looking to buy bushes, trees, hedges etc. NOW is the time.  
2.  Bushes, trees, hedges are EXPENSIVE AS HELL!  

So I really enjoyed getting mine at 50% off.  The man was very knowledgeable.  I told him my problem and he walked me through everything they had.  I ended up choosing hedges.  Apparently they are quick growing and super low maintenance.   I could only find three.  I wish there were four, but the man at the nursery assured me they would grow 6 inches out and up by the end of winter.

Fence Before (with cutest little dog owner ever!)

Fence right after I finished planting 

Like I said, I wish there were four, but they get to be 8-10 ft in width.  Also, in case you were ever wondering, Those little buggars are heavy!  Now I know it is Thursday, but I get to see my Mama today so to me it is like a Friday 

Therefore, HAPPY WEEKEND TO YOU ALL!

But before I leave lets have a quick recap of what we learned:

• It's never okay to enter someone else's yard without permission.  (This includes leaning over their fence)
• It's never okay to touch someone else's property just because you think its cute (this includes someone else's dog.  I wouldn't come pick your baby up just because I think its cute.  Same thing, folks.)
• It is never okay in a million years to try and talk to someone else's daughter THAT YOU DON'T KNOW and ask her personal questions.  Especially if you are a man, you CREEP. 

Now, 

Mums the word!

I had such a great weekend.  On Friday as soon as Rhiannon got out of school I packed up the car and went to visit this beautiful soul right here.....

This woman is so wonderful!  The trip was to short but just what I needed to get my head on straight again.

Before I came home we made a quick trip to a local nursery to get the biggest cheapest and most beautiful mums ever!  They are so lush and full I could only fit three in my car.  (Mind you I also had a baby, tween and puppy.  It was a quite a full car.  best part?  They were only $3!!!!!!!!!)

After I got them in the ground it became extremely clear that I needed. more.  

Reluctantly, I went to the home depot to try and find more.  (I was only reluctant to do this because I knew they wouldn't be nearly as big or beautiful as the ones I purchased at the nursery.  I also knew they were going to be ridiculously overpriced.)

I was correct in that assumption.

Where I could only fit three of the nursery's mums in my car I could easily put 8 in the good old radio flyer.  

But I "needed" them, so I sucked it up.

The baby "helped" me plant.  (AKA putting the dirt in the wagon.)  Then the Mister caught her picking all the flowers off.  (Little stinker!)

Here she is getting an explanation on why it is NOT OKAY to pick mommy's flowers!

Buehrle even helped me out by taking the trash and scattering it all over the yard!  

(However, he has been VERY good about staying OUT of my flower beds.)

I think the best part of the weekend was finally getting our engagement photos back late last night!  They are amazing!  I couldn't be happier with the photographer we chose!  

If you, or anyone you know is getting married in the chicago area I highly recommend her!  

You can see more of her work here!

I hope everybody has an amazing week!