Failed

So like most people in this world I try very hard at everything I do.  I commit myself 110% and can not stand failure.  The past couple of weeks have been so very hard for me and the family.  Our little stinker, Buehrle, has pooped in his kennel every single night since we brought him home from his "training".  We tried medicine,  I put him on doggie probiotics, we tried waking up every two hours, I even started making him homemade dog food in an effort to make his stomach happy.  We took him to the vet several times and each time they told us that he didn't have anything wrong with him.

I tried everything I could possibly think of and  every idea I tried I failed at.

Now I know that there are a lot of people out there who can handle two children, a really hard working Mister and a dog who likes to poop in his kennel every night, but I could not.  I was cracking under the stress of taking care of all these things and it wasn't fair to me, my children and my poor puppy who obviously needs more then I can give to him.

So Buehrle went away yesterday.  Right now it is temporary to make sure he will thrive in his new environment.  I'm kind of hoping he doesn't like it there so I can have a reason to bring him back home for my own selfish reasons, but I know that will not be the case.  He literally went to puppy heaven.  One of my best friends took him home with her.  He now gets to live on a farm where he will have lots of space to run, he has a pond he can swim in and he will have a new dog friend, Toby.  On top of all that he will have an amazing new master.

I spent the majority of yesterday feeling like I gave up on my baby and crying like a baby, myself.  I made the Mister promise not to ever bring home another living thing that I can fall in love with.  He laughed at me and promised he wouldn't.

I miss my dog  :(  I know dogs don't have the same emotions as humans but I hope he knows I love him.